Delicious Torment
by lunarshores
Summary: A series of disconnected drabbles with different pairings mostly from prompts on tumblr. Set as complete, but it will be updated as I get more prompts. Characters: Frobin, SanjiLaw, LawLu, Kohza/Vivi, ASL Most are rated T, and I'll warn inside if it isn't
1. Chapter 1

**For anon on tumblr: Frobin New Neighbor AU. Sorry for those who saw this before I fixed it. I'm not really sure what happened :'D**

Robin took the instructions for installing her new lock out of the package and sat down on the stoop of her new house to read them. It didn't look too hard, but it never hurt to read the instructions before starting a project. After rereading the brief instructions several times, she realized they had only served to confuse her more.

She frowned down at them, before setting them aside and picking up the screwdriver. How hard could it be? She just had to note the way the old one came off and then do the opposite.

Twenty minutes later Robin sat in front of her now lockless door, surrounded by various lock parts and screws. She had finally succeeded in getting the lock on, only to find that it was on backwards, and the door wouldn't close, so she had to take it all off again. Robin sighed looking at the chaos around her.

Perhaps she should have called someone to do it for her. Robin wasn't exactly mechanically inclined. Still, it was a simple lock and calling someone now would be giving up. Besides this would be her first proper home, and she wanted to change the locks herself. A sort of declaration of ownership.

She was just about to start again when she noticed footsteps signalling someone coming up behind her. Robin turned around to find a large blue-haired man walking up to her porch.

"Hey! I live next door and wanted to welcome you to our SUPER wonderful neighborhood." The man handed her a basket full of all the things needed when settling into a new place but were often forgotten. There were basic tools as well as box cutters, cleaning supplies, picture hangers, and hooks of all sorts and was also a few books on the city's history and a list of nearby restaurants and stores "I'm Franky. Feel free to call me or drop by if you need anything. My contact info is in the basket."

"I'm Robin. What a thoughtful gift!" Robin smiled at Franky delighted with the practical gift.

Franky chuckled. "Well, I can't bake, so I just threw some odds and ends together I thought you might find useful."

"I have a cake in the house, if you like to have some coffee," Robin offered then looked down at the mess of scattered lock parts in dismay. "Please excuse the mess."

"Not at all!" Franky looked at the pile and then instructions tossed to the side. "Would like any help?" Robin was about to protest, when he continued. "I can show you how to do it if you'd like. Those instructions are usually no use whatsoever." He grinned at her, causing her to unconsciously return the smile. "Then maybe cake?" Franky looked at her hopefully. Robin laughed.

"Thank you. I would certainly appreciate the assistance. And I'd be happy to provide you with cake after all of your help."

Franky waved off her thanks. "It's nothing. That's what neighbors are for, after all."


	2. Chapter 2

**This one is for Imperial Mint, who requested SanjiLaw and got Mad Scientist AU. This one was fun XD**

The doorbell rang unexpectedly, causing Sanji to jump, cursing the unbelievably loud noise that cut the peaceful silence into tatters. Luckily, he had finished the delicate parts of his experiment and was just watching the boiling point of the new substance he'd made. He glanced at it and rose, deciding it would be fine without him for a bit. It wasn't everyday someone was at the door this late.

Sanji checked the door monitor, raising his brows when he saw who his guest was. He opened the door smoothly and leaned against the frame, lighting a cigarette before he said anything.

"And what might the shitty Surgeon of Death want with me? Last time we met I thought it was clear that we do not get along," Sanji said silkily. Law scowled at him from beneath the brim of his hat.

"I have a proposal that will prove mutually beneficial. Trust me, there is no way I would be here if I didn't think it was important." His tone was filled with disgust, and he grimaced a bit at the end.

Sanji didn't let any concern show on his face as he raised an enquiring brow at Law and took a drag from his cigarette.

"Well, Blackleg, will you let me in or not?" Sanji smirked, delighted that he'd managed to ruffle the always dispassionate Law, but moved to let him in. Whatever it was had to be serious for Law to come to him.

"Very well, shitty bastard. You might as well come in." He lead Law to the kitchen, making tea automatically. "You want something to eat?"

"You're awfully hospitable for someone who claims to hate me," Law said, smirking. Sanji shrugged, not bothering to explain as he set out a plate of cookies with the tea, then sat down across from Law and poured the tea.

"Want to explain why you're here? I'm certain you didn't come just to discuss my hospitality."

Law looked him straight in the eyes. "Caesar Clown has found the key to making SMILE." Sanji's hand froze on the way to his mouth, tea cup in midair. "You know what that will mean for us other... inventors. I propose we form a temporary alliance in the interests of making sure he doesn't take us all out of the running."

Sanji set down the cup, considering the offer. Law met his gaze without wavering. "Why me? There are plenty of others you could have asked that don't have our... less-than-pleasant history." Law looked down, fiddling with his cup. Silence fell over them, the only noise the soft clinks from Law's teacup. Finally Law sighed.

"I could have, but you're the best, so what good would it have done? It's only logical, after all."

"Oh? I suppose it's true that a shitty bastard like you would definitely need help from the best." Law gritted his teeth at the arrogant tone. He stood up taking the cups to the sink, letting Law think he was refusing. "Very well, I agree." He managed to hide his smug expression at the brief flash of incredulity and relief that appeared on Law's face at his acceptance.

Sanji motioned his new reluctant ally to the basement. The substance he'd completely lost interest in should be done by now, and he had a plan to concoct with one of the most feared scientist in the world. At any rate, it was sure to be an interesting evening.


	3. Chapter 3

**This was for StarPurpleandBlue for the drabble meme. She asked for LawLu and ended up with working in a sex shop. So... I guess this one is rated M. **

Law slid into the only place he'd managed to get a job, trying to achieve invisibility. Not that it was likely he'd see someone he knew on this side of town, but just imagining the awkwardness that would ensue from being caught working in a sex store by someone passing by or, even worse, by someone he knew actually wishing to purchase something.

Why didn't these people just buy their perverted toys online like any sane, reasonable person would? Still, he needed the money, and the hours fit around med school (though they cut in severally to his already limited amount of sleep), so he couldn't afford not to take the job, no matter how potentially awkward and embarrassing it was. One thing was for sure, this would not be going on his resume.

He entered the dimly lit shop with a sigh of relief, striding quickly to the counter under which the employees kept their personal greeted Iva calmly, the eccentric manager as he stashed his bag, bracing himself for what was to come.

"Candy-Boy! Why must you always dress so drearily? Put a little effort into it." He smiled and a chill ran down Law's spine. "I'd be happy to help if you need suggestions, my dear boy."

"I'm fine with the way I dress, thanks, and Dragon said it was fine," Law said, quickly backing away, "I'll just go help the others, Ms. Iva." Law fled from him, heading to where the most noise in the store was. There were few customers, and none of them would be the cause for the raucous laughter and yelling. This was a family business for the most part, Iva's dream store funded by Dragon, a man Law had yet to meet as he (wisely, Law thought) never ventured into the store, and the other employees were all related somehow to the boss's son, Luffy, Iva, or Luffy's sworn brothers.

Law was an exception to this rule since Luffy had met him on the street while he was unsuccessfully job hunting. He'd scoffed at the offer of a job here (who'd believe a kid like that was even legal to work in a store like this, much less have the power to give random people jobs) but soon Law had had no choice but to call him and take him up on the offer.

When he'd finally reached the source of the chaos he froze, trying to take in the bizarre scene in front of him. Sabo was the source of the yelling, scolding his brothers as they... fenced... with large, fantasy-inspired dildos, both laughing like mad as they thrust and parried. Strangely, Sabo's chiding seemed to be more about their form than the appropriateness (or lack thereof) of their fight. He was just in time to see Ace casually disarm Luffy, sending the dildo flying into a display of flavored lube.

Law turned around, trying to escape before he was noticed. Even Iva was better than whatever this was. He was so done with this job. Unfortunately, without the distraction of the fight, Sabo noticed him immediately.

"Hey, Ace! Law's here, so our shift must be up," Sabo said, "We should get going."Luffy whined and clung to a shirtless Ace (Why was he shirtless anyway? It was freezing in here).

"Don't leave... It will be so boring without you," he complained. Law started picking up the lube since no one else was bothering, and he was trapped here anyway. At least one of them ought to do their jobs. Ace laughed and ruffled Luffy's hair, disentangling himself from Luffy with a practiced ease,.

"I'm sure Law will play with you and the dildos, Luffy," Ace said, making Sabo snort. Law knocked over all of the lube he's so carefully restacked. He would kill them.

"Yeah, Law, take good care of him for us," Sabo said, and Law missed neither the amusement nor the threat in both of their gazes as they left to say goodbye to Iva.

Luffy pouted until they had left, then brightened and turned to Law. "So, you want to play?" He waved the red, spiny dildo in his hand for emphasis, grinning innocently. Law couldn't take it anymore.

"Do you know what that is for?" he hissed, "Don't wave it around like that and say such things."

"Of course, it's for sex." Luffy blinked at him, as Law's mouth dropped open at the blunt response."Did no one give you orientation? You ought to know if you work here. First you take some lube and-"

"Enough!" Law gritted out,"I know how to use one." Luffy laughed.

"Oh, good." He paused then smiled mischievously at Law. "So which game do you want to play?"

**Reviews are always appreciated ^^**


	4. Chapter 4

**For StarPurpleandBlue. She asked for Kohza/Vivi and got Secret Service/President AU. I tried my best to make it original with such a canon AU XD **

Vivi walked through the White House nervously adjusting her suit. She was well used to walking down the hallowed halls by now, but she still always felt the history and weight of her position press upon her as she rushed to the Oval Office. She walked quickly, nodding to her fellow secret service agents as she walked as much dignity as she could while trying to make her meeting with the president on time.

It was the first time she'd be meeting President Kohza, and she really didn't want to make a poor impression on him on their first meeting. She was in charge of the Fraud and Counterfeiting branch of the Secret Service, and Vivi loved her job. Many of the cases she dealt with involved true criminal masterminds, and it was a rush to take down large organizations like Baroque Works, who could and cripple the economy of the entire country.

Vivi smoothed down her hair and bit her lip, wishing she had a mirror. Her frantic race to get here could not have done her pinned-up hair any good. Luckily Pell, who had helped train her, nodded at her to let her know everything was in place. He smiled fondly as he knocked on the door to let the president know she had arrived.

She entered the room gracefully, letting none of her earlier frazzled nerves show. President Kohza rose from his desk to greet her properly. He was more commanding in person than he had been on television, his presence seeming to fill the room. Vivi smiled at him as she entered, hoping he would be more understanding that a woman could handle her job than the last idiot had been.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Special Agent Nefertari," President Kohza said, shaking her hand firmly, "I really appreciate the work you do for us all."

"It's an honor, Mr. President. I look forward to working for you, sir." Vivi smiled sweetly and took the seat offered to her.

"Now, I know about how your department works, but it isn't what one typically thinks of when they think of the Secret Service. What should I know about it?" Vivi was silent for a moment, considering President Kohza, wondering if this was a test of some sort. He smiled politely at her, and she decided it didn't matter.

"Well, our department investigates counterfeit and fraud, which with the internet and more sophisticated printers, are becoming larger issues that threaten the stability of-."

Vivi's words were cut off as an explosion rocked the building, drowning out her voice. She reacted before the sound had even died out, leaping over the desk and tackling President Kohza to the ground. The doors burst open as other agents came running in, guns drawn, quickly surrounding them

After checking that the president was unharmed, Vivi slipped off him and left him in the care of the others. She was the highest ranking agent in the White House today, so she took a breath and pushed aside the instinctive desire to panic.

"We're on lockdown. Get him to the safe room immediately," she said and turned to Pell as the others began .

"Ma'am, the passage to the safe room is blocked."

Vivi pursed her lips and sighed. "Let's hold up here for now then. Mr. President, I'm going to have to ask you to remain under the desk, do you understand?" President Kohza raised a brow but complied, looking a bit annoyed.

"I suppose there is no choice. I hate being useless." He grimaced. "Can I have a gun at least?" Vivi looked at him sceptically before remembering he was a veteran. Multiple tours, if she recalled correctly. She pulled out her spare gun and passed it to him silently. She looked at him questioningly when he laughed.

"Nothing, just wondering where you managed to hide both of those," he said, glancing over her professional suit. Vivi ignored him and directed the men to get into position to best defend the room. "If I may, why are you in charge? I would have thought it would be Pell. You might outrank him, but you're part of the tamer branch, are you not?"

Vivi laughed, taking position right in front of the desk. "You may be important, sir, but people are less likely to try to assassinate the president than they are to resist arrest. We see plenty of action in the 'tamer' branch, far more than those watching people in fancy clothes discuss politics. Sir."

"Vivi just personally oversaw an operation that took out one of the largest criminal organizations in the country," Pell said softly, "I believe she shot the leader herself, when he threatened to set off a bomb, attempting to kill hundreds of people." His tone was even, but Vivi could tell he was proud and beamed at him. He paused as he finally got a status update on the radio. "They have caught the intruders, ma'am. The threat has passed." Vivi sighed in relief.

"Back to the doors, boys. One of you go get confirmation the threat has completely passed. We'll wait here until we get confirmation." The other agents nodded and left, weapons at the ready, Pell remaining where he was.

"I think you failed to mention a few things in your description of what you do," President Kohza said dryly, emerging from under the desk.

"Well, I didn't exactly get to finish." Vivi smiled at him.

"True, I guess we should get down to business then. So..." A flash of movement outside the window caught Vivi's eyes, and she aimed without thinking, firing when she saw a weapon pointed straight at them, tackling President Kohza to the ground once again, trusting Pell to take care of the follow up if any were required.

She scrambled off him, shoving him back under the desk despite his protests. Vivi stood, purposely making a target of herself, scanning for more trouble. Pell drew up to the window, looking down at the screaming man.

"You got him in the right shoulder. He'll probably make it, but he won't be able to aim that gun," Pell reported, "Agents have arrived and are taking him into custody now."

Vivi reach out a hand to help President Kohza up. He accepted gratefully, smiling at her.

"Maybe I should request to have you transferred. After today, I'm certain I'd be safe in your hands. You can tackle me as much as you'd like." He winked at her, and Vivi blushed bright red, snatching back her gun and storming to the door, this time determined to clear the place herself. She firmly ignored Pell's smirk as she shot orders off to the other agents, uncharacteristically brusque. He might not brush off her skills the last president, but she had a feeling that the charming, insufferable President Kohza could complicate her life quite nicely if he chose.


	5. Chapter 5

**This was for anon on tumblr. Prompt was ASL dragons. Hope you enjoy anon! Thanks to imperialmint for betaing and debating the merits of chuffed versus chuffled with me. **

Sabo looked at their dwindling funds and sighed. This was probably the last time they'd get to sleep in real beds and have a proper meal until they managed to find some work or at least deserving marks. Well, it wasn't as if they were strangers to roughing it in the woods. He grinned and tossed the entire wallet to the innkeeper.

"One room for the night and as much food as that will buy." The innkeeper looked at the rather extravagant sum for a night at a country inn and raised her brows, smiling when Luffy cheered and started chanting about meat. Ace grinned and ruffled his hair, and Sabo watched in amusement as Luffy took offence and tried to pounce on Ace, ending up in a headlock.

"Right away, good sir," the innkeeper said and gestured them to a table. The barroom was cozy and surprisingly clean for such a small town. A fire roared in the massive hearth in the center of the room, chasing away the spring chill in the air. Torches lined the walls, making the polished wood that covered the place from floor to the vaulted ceiling gleam in their flickering glow. It was mostly empty, apart from a few locals at the bar gathered to exchange gossip after a long day.

Piles of food were brought out and they dug in, relishing their last prepared meal for a awhile.

"Do you think it will be here, Sabo?" Luffy asked when the food had disappeared, leaving the innkeeper and the other patrons staring at them in shock.

"That's what the map said. I don't know what's in the valley on the other side of the mountains, but if the map is correct, we'll find it for sure tomorrow." Sabo grinned at his brothers, the excitement of the hunt being almost done filling the air.

The innkeeper, who'd recovered from her shock and was clearing away the remains of their feast, paused, her expression darkening. "You boys aren't thinking up heading up the mountain, are you? You'd best knock such foolish notions out of your head if you want to come back in one piece. There are monstrous beasts in those parts."

Ace waved off her warnings, as Luffy started visibly sparkling at the very idea of danger. "We'll be fine, ma'am. No monsters are going hurt us." The innkeeper clucked sadly and finished clearing up. The other patrons were staring at them with mixed expressions that ranged from fear to sadness.

"What's up there that's so important to you boys?" she asked when she came back with their room key.

Sabo laughed. "No clue. That's part of the fun!" She shook her head at their eager faces but smiled.

"Make sure you boys come down for breakfast. On the house." Luffy hugged the poor woman, nearly choking her Sabo was sure.

"Thanks, lady! You're so nice!"

"Thank you for your kindness." Ace bowed politely, making the observers blink at the sudden manners. Sabo chuckled to himself of the contrast between Ace's manners and how he was just eating. His brothers sure were something alright.

He managed to herd them upstairs where they collapsed in a heap on the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. Tomorrow was sure to be a big day.

* * *

They set off after breakfast the next morning. full and happy, despite the gloomy looks of the townspeople, who clearly thought they were off to their doom.

"Hey, Sabo?" Luffy asked as they neared the top of the mountain.

"Hmmm?"

"Can we stop there on one of our next adventures? They were really nice." Sabo chuckled and met Ace's eyes, ruffling Luffy's hair, much to his indignation.

"Sure thing."

"You just liked them because she fed us, Luffy." Ace said, dodging as Luffy tried to tackled him. Sabo sighed but laughed as they chased each other around him in circles.

"No! That lady was nice too, and she made really good food!" Luffy protested when Ace caught him up into a chokehold and then laughed as he tickled Ace, forcing him to let go. He struggled free but ran smack into Sabo just as they made their way to the summit.

"Hey, what was that for?" Sabo yelled and joined in on the tussle soon after Ace as well when Ace grabbed him by mistake. They all laughed and chased each other until Luffy slid right of the path down a steep incline. Both he and Ace lept forward to save him but somehow managed to get tangled up and follow after him instead.

They landed in an ungainly heap at the bottom. Sabo looked up, still dizzy from the fall and tangled up with Luffy and Ace, and his mouth dropped open. They had fallen into the valley the treasure map had shown, but if there was traditional treasure here it paled beneath the majesty of what lay before him. He glanced quickly over to Ace and Luffy to find them equally entranced by the majestic creature in front of them

There was no doubting it was a dragon, a real one. Vibrant purple scale coated its underbelly fading into a gold-edged black as they creeped up the sides. Wings stretched out from its back, the color caught somewhere between black and purple. It tilted its frilled head crowned with two impressive horns and made a deep, almost questioning humming noise.

Sabo decided it looked more curious than threatening and stood up and bowed tilting his hat to the magnificent creature. Who knew how much they understood? The effect was ruined by Ace purposely unbalancing him, making him fall back into their heap. He and Luffy laughed hysterically, and Sabo blushed.

"You dick! This is no time to be playing around! Do you want to have to fight that thing?" Sabo said, teeth clenched to keep from yelling and glared at Ace and Luffy as they just laughed even louder at his reaction.

"It thinks it was funny too. Just look," Ace said around his snickering. Sabo looked back at the dragon to see that its eyes were crinkled, and it was making a strange sort of chuffling noise. He glared at Ace.

"That doesn't mean it isn't dangerous," Sabo said.

"Wow, Lizard! You're big. Want to be my friend?" While he had been arguing with Ace, Luffy had slipped away and was now perched on the dragon's neck. Sabo dropped his head on his knees. Really, what was the point?

"Luffy doesn't seem to think so." Ace clapped a hand on Sabo's shoulder and dragged him him. "Look, it's not the only one!" Sure enough there were at least a dozen soaring high above the valley, sun glinting off of their multicolored scales. The sight took his breath away and he turned back to Luffy to see him and the dragon were now involved in some sort of game understandable only to the two of them. He grinned at Ace, who returned it full force.

"Coolest treasure ever?" Ace asked as the dragons wheeled around and landed in the clearing in front of them.

"Definitely."


End file.
